Oh, The Places You'll Go...In Texas!

If you're in a dour mood or disagreeable disposition, try these towns on for size:


1. Smiley, Texas (The Poultry Capital of the World)

2. Happy, Texas (The Town Without A Frown)

3. Paradise, Texas (Almost Heaven)

4, Rainbow, Texas (See You At the End of the Rainbow)

5. Sweet Home, Texas (Home Sweet Home)

See y'all out on the trail!

Too Tall Texans

For the road lovin' kind, here's a little (pardon the pun) trail to take if y'all are ever out in West Texas. Lookee here at these fine Texas roadtrip specimens...

Tex Randall
Canyon, Texas's "Tex Randall" stands at 47 feet tall and weighs 7 tons (must be from all the brisket). He's been a Canyon resident since 1959. A long period of deterioration was worsened when a semi crashed into his left boot, and the cigarette, which he held in his left hand, was shot out of his hand like a heat-seeking missile and plum impaled a green love bug, making it look like the proverbial olive in the martini drink (I made up this last part, but it sounds about right, don't it?). The boots, by the way, are Tony Lamas.

Address:

N. 3rd Ave., Canyon, TX

Directions:

Just south of US 60 and just west of N. 15th St., on the southeast corner of N. 3rd Ave. and N. 14th St.

Golden Tornadoes Cheerleader
Not to be outdone, the women folk have one of their own in Lamesa, TX. Standing tall outside a store on Highway 87 in downtown Lamesa, TX. She's about 20 feet tall and we're not about to talk about her weight being women are a tad touchy about this. She wears the cheerleader outfit for the Lamesa High School, the Golden Tornadoes. Originally, she stood taller at 22 ft because of her bouffant, but with the changing times come the change in coiffure. At the moment, she still clings to her 1960s flip hairdo like a bitter divorcee out of The Last Picture Show. The high heels are a fine touch. Must've bought them at that Prada store down in Marfa.

Address:
310 S Dallas Ave., Lamesa, TX

 

Directions:

In downtown Lamesa, TX, on Business 87. In front of the Reid Bethel Tire Company.

Jack Ben Rabbit
Don't worry animal lovers, We got something for everyone in Texas! Even wascally wabbits! Built in the 1960s, he's eight feet tall and is named "Jack Ben Rabbit." The carrot-vore is located in front of the Ector County Independent School District Administration Building in downtown Odessa. The plaque there includes a recipe for Jackrabbit and Dumplings. And, it's PETA approved!

Address:
N Sam Houston Ave., Odessa, TX

 

Directions:

North of I-20 in downtown Odessa at W. 8th St. and N. Sam Houston Ave.
(P.S., That's not my kid)


On a side note for you book worms, Thalia, Texas is in this neck of the woods and is the place in several of Larry McMurtry's novels. His home town is Archer City, 80 miles from Thalia.

Now, who says Texas ain't inclusive!

The Goliad Hanging Tree

Going Out On A Limb

Goliad is a town along the Southern Pacific Railroad. It is one of many that dot the South Texas landscape. The confluence of the San Antonio River, U.S. Highways 59 and 183, and State Highway 239 runs by or along the town. It was established in October 1749.

Standing in front of the Goliad County Courthouse - a two-story limestone building completed in 1894 - is the huge live oak tree with thick, low branches. A historical marker notes that in the mid-1800s, when a sentence was handed down, it was immediately carried out at the tree. The marker also notes that some of those hanged didn't have benefit of trial. In bygone Texas, that wasn't unusual.

Between 1846 and 1870, this live oak tree served as the site of court sessions. Death sentences pronounced by the court were carried out immediately. The recently sentenced convict was brought outside and his death sentence carried out at the end of a rope. It isn’t known how many people swung there, but most estimates are between the dozens and the low hundreds.

When I traveled through this neck of the woods (no pun intended), it was fascinating to see my home state's history up close and personal. The tree stood tall and majestic there in the sleepy South Texas townsquare. Mexicans, Tejanos, Blacks and even White men all wore the Texan neck tie. Rough justice in some cases. But, that's what makes Texas Texas.

There's even a Hanging Tree Gift Store (no lie!) there on the town square. Sorry, no little bonsai tree replicas of the original Hanging Tree. Here's the link for you Doubting Thomases: Hanging Tree Antiques
 

Goliad is located off Texas Hwy. 183 S and US 59 E.

Prada Plants One in Texas

Prada Marfa

The building mimics a Prada store…but, out in the backside of the West Texas desert. I’ve driven out that way, so I know what I’m talking about when I say there ain’t nothing out there but lots of sand.

The sculpture is meant to look like a Prada store, with minimalist white stucco walls and a window display housing real Prada shoes and handbags. There is no working door; it's locked.

Just don’t tell that to them Texas gals with the ten gallon bouffants ‘cause it won’t stop ‘em. They’ll stampede right through those doors like the bulls of Pamplona.

The shoes start at more than $500 and the price of purses easily climb into four figures. Marfa now has some braggin’ rights because Texas does not have a Prada store anywhere else. So, stick that in your craw and smoke it, Dallas!

To be sure, the Prada Marfa sculpture will provide countless hours of conversation for motorists driving through West Texas like: "What the hell is that?!"

Some of the locals have suggested that Prada Marfa isn't a sculpture at all, but a time warp, kinda like a wormhole for rednecks – to transport those who break into the building out of their dreary hillbilly lives and into a more modern & progressive life of dreariness. One has to admit that even though this is an implausible crack-pipe theory, it has a certain charm (think of a Twilight Zone episode: Deliverance meets Breakfast At Tiffany’s).

The Marfans (i.e., citizens of Marfa, for you Ivy League types) commissioned a protégé of Frank Lloyd Wright to rework the sculpture in a way that would reflect the eco-sensitive, environmentally-safe, green-friendly consciousness of the 21^st Century. Take a look-see below.

I think it befits the sign of the times, no?

Texan Stonehenge

The Cadillac Ranch

Several myths have been perpetuated about the origin of the Cadillac Ranch, which is up along the Texas Panhandle. This is Larry McMurtry country. The most popular tale goes like this: An eccentric Amarillo, Texas millionaire loved Cadillacs (like most old school Texans). When the time came to buy a new ride, he would have the old one buried nose first on his land. But, like most Texas tall tales, there’s more to the story than just the book cover.

The truth of the matter is that the Cadillac Ranch idea is credited to an artistic project. After all, what's there to do out in the desert praries of West Texas but shoot varmints like coyotes and praries dogs, and watch paint dry? Thus, the Cadillac Ranch, was born.

The Texas millionaire part of the story is true, however.

The 10 used Cadillacs, ranging in model years from 1948 to 1963, were built along the historic Route 66. The cars were meant to represent the "Golden Age” of American automobiles. At first, the cars displayed their original paint jobs – turquoise, banana yellow, gold, and sky blue. But as people are wont to do when inspired by transcending art, they spray painted the cars, making them utterly unrecognizable from the original factory finish. Now, this is the kind of interactive art movement you don't see the Louvre's patrons mimic. I read that souvenir aficionados smashed the windows, made off with all the chrome, radios, speakers and even some of the doors. Ooo wee! How many art museums can boast that their exhibits also serve as the gift shop? The wheels have since been welded to the axles to prevent more theft.

The Cadillac Ranch is located west of Amarillo on old Route 66, south of I-40 between exits 60 and 62.